We’ve all left a meeting feeling frustrated because the feedback you just received wasn’t helpful. It wasn’t clear, came too late, or lacked any actionable advice. Unfortunately, a recent study has even shown that 65% of surveyed employees actually want more frequent and consistent feedback but don’t feel as though they receive it.
Many leaders of teams, especially those who are new in their leadership roles, find themselves in situations where they’re tasked with giving feedback but don’t know the best approach. This can lead to awkward, ineffective conversations that leave everyone feeling misunderstood.
Well, fear not, new leaders because we asked an expert and Optimist for her help. Enter Kristen Hadeed, founder of Student Maid, Optimist Instructor, author, and expert in all things feedback. Kristen has worked with leaders worldwide to transform how we give and receive feedback.
Here are her three easy tips to improve your feedback and make it more effective.
1. T-Minus 24 Hours
Timing is everything when it comes to feedback. According to Kristen, the best feedback is delivered promptly, ideally within 24 hours of the observed behavior. “I try to live by something called the 24-hour guideline,” she says. “Within 24 hours of thinking or observing something, I commit to giving that person feedback.”
By addressing feedback quickly, you build trust with your team because they know where they stand with you. As Kristen notes, “You might not always agree with someone’s feedback, but I bet you trust them when you know they will address things in a timely manner.”
2. Call in The FBI
Many of us are conditioned to keep feedback strictly professional, but we get feedback wrong when we believe that keeping it professional means not making it personal and vulnerable. “Use FBI statements,” Kristen says, “list the Feeling, then the Behavior that made you feel that way, and finally the Impact it had.”
This personal approach encourages empathy and makes the feedback more impactful. Rather than just critiquing behavior, you’re showing how it influences you, which fosters a deeper connection and a greater willingness to change. It is through the expression of emotions that we are the most likely to see change.
3. Say “Thank You”—Even When It’s Tough
Receiving feedback, especially when you don’t agree with it, can be difficult. But responding with defensiveness can shut down future opportunities for constructive dialogue. Kristen suggests a simple yet powerful strategy: “Say thank you – not for the feedback itself, but for the courage it took for the person to come to you.”
By thanking someone for bringing their feedback to you, you’re reinforcing a culture of openness. You’re also showing that you value honest communication, even when it’s uncomfortable.
When you implement these three strategies, you can transform your feedback from something people dread into a valuable tool for growth. Remember, great feedback is timely, personal, and received with gratitude.
For more, check out The Optimism Library.
