How do we maintain meaningful relationships that aren’t transactional in a society built on transactions?
This week on A Bit of Optimism, Simon is joined by his longtime friend, author, entrepreneur, and marketing expert Seth Godin. Over the course of their conversation, they go down the rabbit hole of discussing the impacts of today’s marketing trends on our personal relationships.
“If you have two friends and you're moving and one friend says, I'll give you $5,000 towards the moving van, super generous. And the other friend says, I'll come to your house, I'll fill up the boxes with you, I'll spend all day with you, I'll load the van with you. I'll drive with you to the new house and I'll help you unload all the boxes. And six months later, both of them ask for a favor. On the same day, you're going to go with the one who gave their non-redeemable time and energy because it's actually worth more than any amount of money.”
Simon and Seth discuss the nature of friendships and whether they are transactional. Simon argues that true friendships are not—people don’t keep score of what they have done for each other. Seth adds that the most important relationships are fueled by a liminal space of trust and possibility. They agree that our time, energy, and emotions are valuable because they are finite. In the same way, we can seek out projects that evoke deep emotion and are not transactional. The ingredient of love comes with sweat, energy, rigor, sacrifice, pain, laughter, and inspiration.
It’s important to “get real” in our friendships, meaning both people should be clear about what kind of change they seek to make and what kind of interactions they want to have. For Simon and Seth, their friendship has been built on honesty and selflessness in their actions, which makes each other feel appreciated and supported. Plus, they trade and admire unadulterated and honest input, even when they don’t necessarily agree.
For more from Simon and Seth Godin, check out this episode of A Bit of Optimism:
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