“I’m such an idiot.” “I’m terrible at my job.” “No one likes me.” Sound familiar? We all have that pesky inner critic that loves to rain on our parade every now and then. While leading psychologists will tell you that you’ll never be able to kick your inner critic to the curb for good, you can certainly take steps to manage it.
It all starts with a little bit of self-compassion. One study published in the journal Behavior Therapy found having self-compassion can counteract the negatives that often come hand-in-hand with self-criticism—everything from stress and anxiety to depression. Another study found it can also increase your future happiness, even in times of adversity. But where do you begin on your journey of self-compassion?
Simon Sinek, our founder and Chief Optimist, says the best place to start is confronting your inner critic head-on. “We can’t stop it. But we can manage it,” he says. And the best way to do that is to simply give it a name, which allows you to grow distance between yourself and your inner critic. “Call it Bob. Call it Stacey. I know someone who calls it the ‘Shitty Committee,’ he says. “That way, when your inner critic chimes in, you can be like, ‘Oh, the Shitty Committee’ is here again,’ and it helps you manage it a lot better.”
Naming your inner critic might feel silly, but the method is backed by mental health professionals for a reason—it instantly robs your inner critic of its power. A study published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology found when you become aware of your inner critic and how harshly you treat yourself, you’ll become more supportive and friendly toward yourself—something that, as the authors say, makes you feel more at peace and “better able to cope with everyday pressures and challenges.”
While labeling the voice in your head that criticizes you 24/7 is one way to be kinder to yourself, it’s only the beginning. If you make it your mission to show yourself some compassion—not just today, but every day—you’ll be well on your way to a brighter, more fulfilling future. With that in mind, we’ve included three more ways to do just that below. So read on, and if you’re interested in some of the ways you can inject some compassion into your workplace, you’ll find a wealth of courses that will help you build a culture of kindness in our Optimism Library.
3 More Ways to Be Kind to Yourself
1. Forgive Yourself for Your Mistakes
Sure, making a mistake sucks. Unfortunately, we’re only human, and therefore mistakes are 100% going to happen. It’s how you choose to deal with these mistakes is what really matters—starting with always choosing to forgive yourself.
Past research has found higher levels of self-forgiveness lead to higher levels of well-being. The next time you make a mistake—whether it’s in your career or personal life—view the mistake not as a negative but as an opportunity for growth. This isn’t always easy, but getting caught up on a mistake is only going to hold you back. Not only from finding happiness, but also from reaching your full potential and achieving your goals.
2. Celebrate Small Wins
When we think of celebrating our wins, it’s typically the big stuff—think a new job or a relationship milestone. But those aren’t things that happen every day. Another simple way to be kinder to yourself is to celebrate all your achievements—even the small stuff you wouldn’t typically write home about, whether that’s checking a task off your to-do list or cooking a meal at home instead of ordering takeout.
3. Check In On Yourself
We check in on friends and family to see how they’re doing, but when’s the last time you checked in on yourself? Taking a second to step away from what you’re doing and ask yourself how you’re feeling—both physically and mentally—is an easy way to foster self-kindness.
Oftentimes, we push how we’re feeling aside. According to a review published in Clinical Psychology Review, doing these regular check-ins—along with other mindfulness activities—can offer numerous benefits, including improvements in mood and a better sense of well-being. Instead of ignoring how you’re feeling, you’re able to address it, understand it, and take action that will leave you feeling more balanced and fulfilled.
The Bottom Line
Being kind to yourself—whether that’s confronting your inner critic, forgiving yourself for mistakes, celebrating small wins, or checking in on yourself regularly—is crucial. When we treat ourselves with the same kindness and compassion we extend to others, we pave the way for a brighter, more fulfilling future—one grounded in self-love, acceptance, and happiness.
