Imagine waking up tomorrow morning and, instead of scrolling through emails, taking a moment to appreciate the simple act of breathing. Not because a meditation app told you to, but because you truly understand how fleeting this moment is.
This shift in perspective is what Alua Arthur, a death doula and New York Times-bestselling author, calls “living like you’re dying”—and it might just transform your daily experience of life.
“I think the most effective practice of gratitude for this life itself is a reminder that I’m going to die,” Arthur shares in her conversation with Simon on this week’s episode of A Bit of Optimism. “When I can remind myself of that, it pulls me right back from the annoyances and the minor grievances and the frustrations.”
The Power of Perspective
It’s not about being morbid. It’s about using the awareness of life’s finite nature to heighten our appreciation of its everyday magic. When we acknowledge that nothing lasts forever—not even our frustrating morning commute or that difficult project—we can find grace in unexpected places.
Arthur discovered this truth through an unexpected encounter on a bus in Cuba, while she was battling burnout as a lawyer. A conversation with a woman facing terminal cancer changed everything. “I also took that invitation to start living like I was dying,” she recalls. The result? A complete transformation in how she experienced daily life.
Turning Awareness Into Practice
Here’s how to apply this wisdom to your own life, starting today:
Start with the Small Things
Notice the simple miracles: your ability to chew food, a roof that doesn’t leak, the warmth of sunlight on your face. These aren’t just nice moments—they’re extraordinary gifts that won’t last forever.
Use Minor Annoyances as Triggers
When something irritates you—traffic, a long line at coffee shop, a delayed meeting—let it remind you of life’s temporariness. As Arthur explains, “There’s a lot of suffering in the world, and yet when I can zoom out and think about what this life is for me at this moment, it allows me to snap back from the annoyances and minor grievances.”
Practice “Grace in the Present”
“Grace is allowing things to be as they are,” Arthur shares, “to be with the gratitude for what is, and for that thing that holds us through everything that we journey through.” This means accepting both the beautiful and difficult moments as part of life’s complete experience.
Finding Joy in Reality
Arthur shares a story about a 95-year-old client who, looking back on her life, said, “First of all, none of it made any sense, but it was one hell of a ride.” This perspective—embracing life’s mysteries and messiness—can free us from the constant chase for meaning and allow us to simply experience what is.
The Practice of Presence
Start small. Tomorrow morning, before you do anything else:
- Take three breaths
- Name three things that won’t last forever (good or bad)
- Express gratitude for this moment, exactly as it is
Remember, this isn’t about achieving some perfect state of enlightenment. It’s about embracing life in all its imperfect glory, knowing that its temporary nature is exactly what makes it precious.
As Arthur reminds us, every moment—even the frustrating ones—is part of “one hell of a ride.” The question is: are you present enough to experience it?
See here for more from A Bit of Optimism.
