What to Do When You’re Great at Your Job But Terrible at Meetings

You know your stuff. Hand you a technical challenge, a system that needs fixing, a problem that keeps others up at night, and you’re brilliant. Your work speaks for itself.

But then there’s the meeting.

You walk in prepared. You have ideas. You know what needs to happen. But the moment the conversation starts, something shifts. Your mind races. Should I say this now? Will it sound stupid? By the time you work up the courage to speak, the moment has passed. Someone else said what you were thinking—only they said it with confidence.

You leave feeling invisible.

The First Thing to Do

Stop trying to prove you belong there. That frame puts all the pressure on performance instead of contribution.

Shift from proving yourself to serving the room.

Before your next meeting, write one line: “My job here is to help us decide X faster and better.” Maybe it’s clarifying the problem. Maybe it’s surfacing a risk no one’s named. Whatever it is, name it.

This isn’t about you. It’s about what the team needs. And when you serve something bigger than yourself, the fear gets smaller.

In the Room: Ground, Then Contribute

Your nervous system can’t tell the difference between a high-stakes meeting and a physical threat. That’s why your heart races and your brain goes blank right when you need it most.

Here’s your reset: Feet flat. Slow exhale. Look around the room once. Your nervous system listens to your body. When you ground yourself physically, your mind follows.

Then speak early, even if it’s small. “Success today looks like leaving with two clear decisions and owners.” That’s it. You’re in the conversation now, not watching it happen without you.

When the Spiral Starts

Mid-meeting, the voice comes: That sounded dumb. Everyone’s judging me. I should stay quiet.

Here’s the move: shift from performance to service.

Ask out loud: “What would good look like from here?”

Watch what happens. People respond. The conversation moves forward. And you realize no one was judging you—they were waiting for someone to say something useful.

Or try this when uncertainty hits: “I may be missing something. Here’s what I see. What am I not seeing?”

This isn’t weakness. This is confident doubt, and it earns more trust than false certainty ever could.

To Be Heard: Make Your Ideas Travel

The difference between ideas that land and ideas that disappear isn’t charisma. It’s clarity.

Give people three things: the problem, the picture, the path.

“Onboarding takes three weeks too long. If new hires could do X by day five, we’d cut that by half. Let’s pilot a new system that can get us there.”

Clear beats clever. Every time.

After the Meeting: Build Your Reputation

Send a three-line recap: decision, owners, next check-in. Reliability creates presence. When people can count on you, authority grows quietly.

Then reflect for sixty seconds: What landed? What muddied? What will I try differently next time?

This is how you close the gap—not by being perfect, but by learning faster than everyone else.

You’ll Know It’s Working When…

You speak earlier with fewer words. People start asking you to frame decisions. Disagreements feel productive, not personal. You leave meetings tired but clear.

Leadership isn’t about being comfortable. It’s about being effective. And sometimes that’s exhausting. But that exhaustion means you showed up. You served. You led.

Start Small, Start Now

Your next meeting: bring one expanding question and one narrowing statement. Use them in the first ten minutes.

“What assumptions are we making that might be wrong?”
“Given that, what decision are we actually making today?”

You don’t have to transform overnight. You just have to show up a little braver than yesterday.

For more advice on being the leader you wish you had, explore The Optimism Library today.