Every leader faces a choice: do we manage people, or do we develop them? Do we extract performance, or do we inspire it? Do we build teams that need us, or teams that don’t?
The conventional wisdom has clear answers. Stay in control. Lead with data. Keep emotions out of it. Fix weaknesses. Beat the competition.
But here’s what we’re learning: the path to extraordinary leadership oftentimes runs directly through practices that sound completely wrong. Practices that make us uncomfortable. Practices that challenge every instinct we’ve been taught to trust.
With Simon’s insights and the latest research, we’ve identified five leadership approaches that people dismiss as reckless but that consistently create remarkable teams. Here’s what we discovered.
1. Leave Your Team Hanging When Asked Questions
This sounds like abandonment. Like leaving people stranded when they need you most.
But here’s the deeper truth: “When someone asks, ‘What should I do?'” Simon tells us, “Instead of answering them outright, try answering their question with a question: ‘What do you think?’ Then listen. If their choice is reasonable, back it. If it misses the mark, ask further questions.”
Why does this matter? Because leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about building people who don’t need you to have all the answers.
Every time you say, “What do you think?,” you’re saying something far more powerful: “I believe in you.” And that belief becomes the foundation they stand on when you’re not in the room. This is how you build leaders, not followers.
2. Talk About Feelings at Work
This feels dangerous. Like opening Pandora’s box when you should be keeping things professional.
But research from Stanford’s Graduate School of Business reveals something profound. When leaders say, “You seem frustrated,” or, “I notice you’re upset,” trust skyrockets. The researchers found across six studies that emotional acknowledgment dramatically elevated trust, especially for negative emotions.
Why? Because people desperately need to know they’re not invisible. That their struggle matters. That someone sees them as a whole human being, not just a productivity unit.
When you name what you see, you’re saying: your humanity is welcome here. And when people feel their humanity is welcome, they bring their creativity, passion, and best work.
3. Be Soft on Performance
This feels like you’re avoiding accountability.
But consider why we’re here in the first place. “When someone misses a target,” Simon says, “start with care: ‘Are you okay? I’m concerned about you.’ Create safety first. Only then explore performance.”
Remember that people aren’t machines. They’re human beings trying to do good work while navigating a world that never stops throwing curveballs.
When you lead with, “You missed the number,” you’ll get defensiveness. When you lead with, “Are you okay?,” you get truth. And truth is the only thing that leads to real solutions.
4. Admit Your Competition Is Simply Better Than You
This feels like surrender. Like admitting defeat before the game even starts.
But Simon sees it differently: “Name the competitor who gets under your skin. Then identify one thing they consistently do better. Turn that into your next improvement sprint.”
Why does this help? Because the finite game (the one where you obsess over crushing your competition) has a ceiling. But the infinite game has no ceiling. When you stop competing to win and start competing to improve, you unlock humility that makes you teachable, curiosity that makes you innovative, and growth that never stops.
“Worthy rivals make us sharper, humbler, and more inventive,” Simon adds. They’re not obstacles. They’re mirrors showing us who we could become.
5. Stop Trying to Fix Weaknesses
This sounds irresponsible. Like ignoring problems until they become disasters.
But research from Zenger Folkman, analyzing over 100,000 leaders, reveals a fascinating truth: unless someone has a critical flaw, extraordinary performance comes from building strengths, not fixing weaknesses.
When you spend energy turning someone’s 4 into a 6, you’re telling them: “You’re not enough.” But when you invest in turning their 7 into a 9, you’re saying: “I see your gifts. Let’s make them undeniable.”
According to Gallup research, employees who use their strengths daily are six times more likely to be engaged. Not because they’re avoiding hard things, but because they’re doing work that energizes rather than drains them. People who are empowered to be excellent at what they’re naturally good at don’t need motivation. They need opportunity.
