A Bit of Optimism | Podcast

Season 6 · Episode 26

What Happens When You Bet on Yourself with Ted Lasso’s Brendan Hunt

Maybe you know the feeling: everyone around you seems to be getting ahead, and every hour you spend on something "frivolous" — the hobby, the detour, the game on a Sunday afternoon — feels like falling behind. Brendan Hunt's career is proof those hours are never wasted. The detour turned out to be the path all along. Most of us know Brendan as Coach Beard and as the Emmy Award-winning co-creator of *Ted Lasso.* But before any of that, he was an unknown Chicago improv actor when the Amsterdam comedy institution Boom Chicago offered him something different. He moved to Amsterdam for a year… that turned into five… and he joined an alumni roster that now includes comedians like Seth Meyers, Jordan Peele, Amber Ruffin, and Jason Sudeikis. Brendan performed every night, fell head over heels for soccer ("a soccer missionary for all Americans," as he puts it), and struck up a friendship with Jason Sudeikis. Years later, all of it collided into one of the most beloved shows on television, *Ted Lasso,* which is back for Season 4 on Apple TV+. Brendan has also returned to his first love, the stage, with his solo show *The Movement You Need*. In this conversation, Brendan and I trace the wildly unplanned path from Chicago to Amsterdam to AFC Richmond… and land on a different way to think about ambition: master the craft in front of you, and let the plan catch up later. **In this episode you'll learn:** ➡️ The real origin story of Ted Lasso (it began as a YouTube-only commercial written by a pool) ➡️ Why Coach Beard barely talks + the improv rule that explains everything he does ➡️ The "Beatles in Hamburg" secret to mastering any craft ➡️ Why stepping away won't put you behind (everything will be exactly where you left it) ➡️ How "wasting" Sundays watching Dutch soccer created the Lasso–Beard dynamic ➡️ The surprising origin of the BELIEVE sign + who it was designed to annoy ➡️ Why the flip side of belief is trust + and how it shapes Season 4 We spend so much of our lives protecting the plan. Brendan's story is a reminder that the things worth protecting are usually the ones we never planned for at all. **This… is *A Bit of Optimism*.** \+ + + This episode is brought to you by SAP. Bring it with SAP GROW. The AI Cloud ERP for any size business. Learn more at [https://SAP.com/GROW](https://SAP.com/GROW) \+ + + Check out Brendan as Coach Beard on season 4 of *Ted Lasso* on Apple TV+: [https://tv.apple.com/us/show/ted-lasso](https://tv.apple.com/us/show/ted-lasso) If you want to learn more about Brendan’s solo show, *The Movement You Need,* head to: [https://themovementyouneed.com](https://themovementyouneed.com/) \+ + + **Chapters** ### Chapters - **00:00:00** Plans vs. Imagination: The Risk of Staying Safe - **00:02:43** From Chicago to Amsterdam: The Audition That Changed Everything - **00:07:02** The Boom Chicago Pitch: When Amsterdam Became Irresistible - **00:11:58** The Beatles in Hamburg: Getting Your 10,000 Hours - **00:16:18** The Joy of the Thing: Why Not Thinking About Your Career Makes You Better - **00:20:01** Real Opportunity vs. Your Imagination: Why People Stay Put - **00:20:58** Strong Opinions, Loosely Held: The Art of the Flexible Plan - **00:21:28** Curiosity as Currency: The Jack of All Trades Philosophy - **00:22:51** The Ted Lasso Origin Story: A Pool, Some Bits, and a Name - **00:25:45** The Soccer Missionary: How Amsterdam Made Brendan the Beard to Ted's Lasso - **00:27:31** Everything Contributes to Everything: The Payoff of Wasted Time - **00:30:31** Midwestern Chipperness Meets British Stiff Upper Lip: The Culture Clash of Ted Lasso - **00:32:57** Diagnosed as Ted Lasso: When Your Company Is the Character - **00:33:46** Bringing Yourself to the Character: Acting as Being, Not Becoming - **00:37:23** Coach Beard Was a Placeholder: How a Play Gave Him a Name - **00:44:06** The Art Couple: The Play Brendan Wishes He Could Do Forever - **00:46:33** The 1986 NFC Championship: A Pure Childhood Memory - **00:54:07** When Comedy Became a Need: Making Mom Laugh - **00:55:59** Season Four: Belief, Trust, and Starting Over - **00:57:28** Don't Pick Sides: The Gift of Knowing Your Own Mistakes - **00:59:04** The Purity of Art: Why Brendan Keeps Writing \+ + + Website: [http://simonsinek.com](http://simonsinek.com/) Leaderful: [https://simonsinek.com/leaderful](https://simonsinek.com/leaderful) Podcast: [http://apple.co/simonsinek](http://apple.co/simonsinek) Instagram: [https://instagram.com/simonsinek](https://instagram.com/simonsinek/) Linkedin: [https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek](https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/) Twitter: [https://twitter.com/simonsinek](https://twitter.com/simonsinek) Facebook: [https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek](https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek) \+ + +

August 18, 2026 1 hr 1 min

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Season 6 · Episode 25

How to Say the Hard Thing and Keep the Relationship | A Bit of Optimism: Feelings at Work | PART 5

Every lasting relationship has survived at least a few hard conversations. But most of us would still rather not have them... So we put them off and tell ourselves the tension will fade on its own. Instead it goes underground: into the stories we build about people, the resentments we quietly collect, and the side-texts we send about a colleague we won't talk to directly. But a hard conversation is a short burst of discomfort in exchange for something better on the other side: trust, collaboration, and a relationship strong enough to survive the next one. **Feelings at Work is a special five-part series from A Bit of Optimism,** where Simon Sinek and Alex Simon, founder of LifeShop, explore the human skills that shape how we work, lead, and build relationships. Together, they unpack the emotional challenges most of us face every day—from people pleasing and listening to giving feedback, taking accountability, and having difficult conversations. In this final episode, Simon and Alex take on hard conversations: why tension is telling us something useful, why the story we build about someone gets harder to undo the longer we wait, and what to actually say when it's time to have the hard conversation. Simon and Alex share tools like how to know when to bring something up so you don't show up hot, how to break the fourth wall and reset a conversation that's already going sideways, and the practice of “Watering Someone’s Flowers.” **In this episode you'll learn:** ➡️ Why tension is a smoke signal telling you to address something ➡️ How conflict is a team sport for mutual understanding ➡️ How to move from "you're the problem" to both of you facing it together ➡️ The "resentment gremlin" + why feeding it feels so satisfying ➡️ When to initiate a hard conversation ➡️ Why it’s important to start with a request for grace ➡️ “Watering someone's flowers”: the practice that softens any tension ➡️ What to do instead of “feedback sandwiches” ➡️ How to interrupt, reset, and take something back during a conversation Whether you're leading a team, dreading a review, or rehearsing the same speech in your car for the third week running, learning how to have hard conversations is an essential skill to build. And remember: a hard conversation isn't a sign that something has gone wrong. It's a sign that something matters enough to fix. **This... is A Bit of Optimism.** \+ + + **CHAPTERS** ### Chapters - **00:00:00** When Conflict Turns People Into Monsters - **00:02:16** Reframing Tension: It's a Sign, Not a Problem - **00:02:43** The Resentment Gremlin: How Waiting Makes It Worse - **00:03:50** Oh No, Let's Just Skip It: Why Hard Conversations Feel Impossible - **00:08:01** The Passive Aggressive Company: When Tens of Thousands Avoid Feedback - **00:10:02** When Passive Aggression Is The Solution to Conflict - **00:11:15** What Actually Stops Us: Fear, Narrative Building, and Self-Righteousness - **00:20:38** Conflict Is a Team Sport for Mutual Understanding - **00:23:04** You're Not the Problem, I'm Not the Problem: The Problem Is the Problem - **00:25:21** The Interruption Technique That Stops Character Assassination - **00:26:27** Timing Matters: Not Too Hot, Not Too Cold - **00:28:31** Setting a Goal: What Do You Actually Want From This? - **00:29:44** Asking for Grace Grace: "I'm Going to Get This Wrong" - **00:33:07** How to "Water Someone's Flowers" - **00:38:02** Try This Instead of Feedback Sandwiches - **00:40:25** Breaking the Fourth Wall: Pause, Reset, and Start Again - **00:43:41** The Scaffolding Philosophy: Messy Humans Need Support Structures \+ + + Website: [http://simonsinek.com/](http://simonsinek.com/) Leaderful: [https://simonsinek.com/leaderful](https://simonsinek.com/leaderful) Podcast: [http://apple.co/simonsinek](http://apple.co/simonsinek) Instagram: [https://instagram.com/simonsinek/](https://instagram.com/simonsinek/) Linkedin: [https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/](https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/) Twitter: [https://twitter.com/simonsinek](https://twitter.com/simonsinek) Facebook: [https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek](https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek) \+ + + **About Alex Simon** Alex Simon is the founder of Lifeshop, a school for adult emotional education and teaches emotional intelligence at Yale University. She teaches the emotional and communication skills we all should've learned in school—but didn't. She facilitates experiential workshops on how to have hard conversations, stop people pleasing, listen better, navigate major life transitions, and build healthier relationships. Her sessions are practical, deeply connective, and somehow shockingly fun. When she was 27, Alex created **The Self & Other: In Theory and Practice**, one of Yale's most sought-after courses. In 2025, she founded Lifeshop in New York to bring emotional education beyond the classroom and into everyday life. She also launched The School of Life in New York and leads workshops for organizations around the world. Before dedicating her career to emotional education, Alex worked as a management consultant at Bain and held strategy and operations roles across industries. She has also lived and trained at Plum Village and Esalen and completed dozens of programs in mindfulness, communication, and personal development.

August 11, 2026 46 min

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Season 6 · Episode 24

Why Being Right Is Costing You Trust | A Bit of Optimism: Feelings at Work | PART 4

Everyone says they want more accountability at work… yet few of us think we're the ones who need to learn how to be more accountable. Most of us believe we already know how to own a mistake. We've all said sorry and truly meant it. But meaning it and doing it well are two *very* different things. And when we’re the first to apologize, we model to everyone around us how cathartic accountability can be. **Feelings at Work is a special five-part series from A Bit of Optimism**, where Simon Sinek and Alex Simon, founder of LifeShop, explore the human skills that shape how we work, lead, and build relationships. Together, they unpack the emotional challenges most of us face every day—from people pleasing and listening to giving feedback, taking accountability, and having difficult conversations. In this episode, Simon and Alex take on accountability: why owning a mistake can feel like losing, why taking credit and dodging blame come from the same place, and what a real repair actually looks like. You'll discover why owning your part doesn't mean admitting you were wrong, why the confidence to say, "I got that wrong," is what actually makes people follow you, and how to repair something in a way that genuinely clears a pathway forward. Simon and Alex share practical tools like the "wheelie bag" rule for separating intent from impact, the two-part formula that turns an empty gesture into apologies people can actually feel, Alex's practice of "micro-accountability" for owning small things before they accumulate, and the one word that quietly cancels everything you said before it. **In this episode you'll learn:** ➡️ Why saying you're sorry doesn't mean you're wrong ➡️ The two-part apology formula: what you actually did + the impact it had ➡️ How to name someone's hurt + leave room to be corrected ➡️ "Micro-accountability": owning the small stuff before it turns into the big stuff ➡️ Why people who take too much credit are the same people who dodge blame ➡️ What real confidence actually looks like ➡️ How to receive an apology and why refusing it is its own kind of failure ➡️ Why being uncoachable is the biggest problem at work ➡️ How to ask people to build the fix with you Whether you're leading a team, rebuilding trust with a colleague, or still quietly replaying an argument from three years ago, accountability is one of the most healing skills you can develop. And remember: owning your part is a gift you give the other person AND you give yourself. **This... is A Bit of Optimism.** \+ + + **CHAPTERS** ### Chapters - **00:00:00** Why Nobody Thinks They Need to Learn How to Apologize - **00:05:49** The Wheelie Bag Philosophy: What Saying Sorry Actually Means - **00:08:52** Why People Who Take Too Much Credit Can't Handle Blame - **00:10:15** Blame Culture: Why Our First Instinct Is Always to Point Fingers - **00:13:37** The Difference Between Being Wrong and Taking Accountability - **00:17:34** The Catharsis of Apologizing: Relief for Both Sides - **00:24:04** The Leader Who Gives All Credit and Takes All Blame - **00:27:55** The Anatomy of a Real Apology: Recognition Plus Impact - **00:30:19** When Guessing the Impact Goes Wrong - **00:33:46** Repair In Real-Time With Micro-Accountability - **00:35:17** The Three-Part Apology That Finally Landed - **00:41:06** How to Receive an Apology Without Twisting the Knife - **00:43:18** When Sorry Isn't Enough Without Behavioral Change - **00:46:16** When You Can't Just Fix It: Asking for Help With Repair - **00:49:57** Why We All Think We Already Know How to Apologize - **00:51:10** Accountability Is the Gateway to Trust \+ + + Website: [http://simonsinek.com/](http://simonsinek.com/) Leaderful: [https://simonsinek.com/leaderful](https://simonsinek.com/leaderful) Podcast: [http://apple.co/simonsinek](http://apple.co/simonsinek) Instagram: [https://instagram.com/simonsinek/](https://instagram.com/simonsinek/) Linkedin: [https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/](https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/) Twitter: [https://twitter.com/simonsinek](https://twitter.com/simonsinek) Facebook: [https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek](https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek) \+ + + **About Alex Simon** Alex Simon is the founder of Lifeshop, a school for adult emotional education and teaches emotional intelligence at Yale University. She teaches the emotional and communication skills we all should've learned in school—but didn't. She facilitates experiential workshops on how to have hard conversations, stop people pleasing, listen better, navigate major life transitions, and build healthier relationships. Her sessions are practical, deeply connective, and somehow shockingly fun. When she was 27, Alex created **The Self & Other: In Theory and Practice**, one of Yale's most sought-after courses. In 2025, she founded Lifeshop in New York to bring emotional education beyond the classroom and into everyday life. She also launched The School of Life in New York and leads workshops for organizations around the world. Before dedicating her career to emotional education, Alex worked as a management consultant at Bain and held strategy and operations roles across industries. She has also lived and trained at Plum Village and Esalen and completed dozens of programs in mindfulness, communication, and personal development.

August 4, 2026 53 min

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Season 6 · Episode 23

What Is Your Team Afraid to Tell You? | A Bit of Optimism: Feelings at Work | PART 3

**Giving and receiving feedback is one of the hardest things we do at work and most of us just... avoid it.** But avoiding feedback has a cost. Everything you need to grow is already in the room and it's just sitting in your blind spot. Your colleagues can see it. Your boss can see it. And nobody will tell you, unless you learn to ask. **Feelings at Work** is a special five-part series from **A Bit of Optimism**, where Simon Sinek and **Alex Simon, founder of LifeShop,** explore the human skills that shape how we work, lead, and build relationships. Together, they unpack the emotional challenges most of us face every day—from people pleasing and listening to giving feedback, taking accountability, and having difficult conversations. In this episode, Alex and Simon take on feedback: how to give it, how to take it, and how to ask for it. You’ll discover ways to give feedback people can actually hear, receive criticism without taking it personally, and build a feedback culture on any team. Alex and Simon share practical techniques like the one-word ritual Simon borrowed from the Air Force that made his whole company crave critiques, the “FBI” method for delivering hard feedback without blowing up relationships, and questions Alex asks her team to surface everything left unsaid, like "What are you afraid to tell me?" **In this episode you'll learn:** ➡️ Why we avoid giving feedback + what that avoidance quietly costs our teams ➡️ "Spears": the Air Force ritual that turns criticism into something people actually want ➡️ The “FBI” (Feelings, Behavior, Impact) method for giving feedback people can actually hear ➡️ The Army Rangers' peer assessment’s "foxhole question" + what it reveals about character ➡️ How to think of feedback as preventative care and build that muscle ➡️ Why everyone receives feedback differently (+ how to give people what they need) ➡️ When to give feedback (hint: never the moment you think of it) ➡️ The four-word habit that builds a thick skin: "What can I do better?" Whether you're leading a team, managing up, or just tired of side-texting about a problem no one will name out loud, feedback is one of the most valuable skills you can build. And remember: feedback is kind, even when it’s not nice. **This... is A Bit of Optimism.** \+ + + ### Chapters - **00:00:00** The Spinach in Your Teeth Problem: Why Nobody Tells You - **00:03:48** The Story of Two Failed Feedback Sessions - **00:06:37** Why Feedback Obsession Changes Everything - **00:08:05** The Company That Was Too Nice to Give Feedback - **00:10:35** Army Rangers and the Three-Level Evaluation System - **00:14:24** Why Giving Feedback Feels So Hard - **00:17:16** Spears: The Air Force Technique That Changed Everything - **00:20:08** All the Information You Need Is in Your Blind Spot - **00:22:28** FBI: The Three-Part Formula for Feedback That Lands - **00:25:37** Why Vague Praise Doesn't Help Anyone - **00:27:16** Credit Is Free: Recognition Languages at Work - **00:31:05** The Collaboration Meeting: Preventing Problems Before They Start - **00:42:34** The Air Force Commander Who Cried Every Night for Six Months - **00:45:08** When to Give Feedback: Not When You Think of It - **00:47:24** The Virtuous Cycle: What Happens When You Get Feedback Right - **00:49:08** How to Build the Muscle of Receiving Feedback - **00:51:43** Generational Difference For Feedback - **00:52:57** One Simple Question: What Can I Do Better? - **00:55:49** Feedback Is Kind Even When It's Not Nice \+ + + Website: [http://simonsinek.com/](http://simonsinek.com/) Leaderful: [https://simonsinek.com/leaderful](https://simonsinek.com/leaderful) Podcast: [http://apple.co/simonsinek](http://apple.co/simonsinek) Instagram: [https://instagram.com/simonsinek/](https://instagram.com/simonsinek/) Linkedin: [https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/](https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/) Twitter: [https://twitter.com/simonsinek](https://twitter.com/simonsinek) Facebook: [https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek](https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek) \+ + + ## **About Alex Simon** Alex Simon is the founder of Lifeshop, a school for adult emotional education and teaches emotional intelligence at Yale University. She teaches the emotional and communication skills we all should've learned in school—but didn't. She facilitates experiential workshops on how to have hard conversations, stop people pleasing, listen better, navigate major life transitions, and build healthier relationships. Her sessions are practical, deeply connective, and somehow shockingly fun. When she was 27, Alex created **The Self & Other: In Theory and Practice**, one of Yale's most sought-after courses. In 2025, she founded Lifeshop in New York to bring emotional education beyond the classroom and into everyday life. She also launched The School of Life in New York and leads workshops for organizations around the world. Before dedicating her career to emotional education, Alex worked as a management consultant at Bain and held strategy and operations roles across industries. She has also lived and trained at Plum Village and Esalen and completed dozens of programs in mindfulness, communication, and personal development.

July 28, 2026 58 min

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Season 6 · Episode 22

The Secret to Better Conversations Isn't Talking | A Bit of Optimism: Feelings at Work | PART 2

**The fastest way to improve your relationships isn't talking. It's listening.** Most of us hear what's being said. Very few of us know how to make someone feel heard. **Feelings at Work** is a special five-part series from **A Bit of Optimism**, where Simon Sinek and **Alex Simon, founder of LifeShop**, explore the human skills that shape how we work, lead, and build relationships. Together, they unpack the emotional challenges most of us face every day—from people pleasing and listening to giving feedback, taking accountability, and having difficult conversations. In this episode, they explore one of the most important communication skills we can develop: listening. Together, they share practical techniques to improve your listening skills, build trust, navigate difficult conversations, and create better outcomes at work and at home. You'll learn why people often ask for one thing but actually need another, how to stop jumping into fix-it mode, and Alex's simple Four-Second Rule for becoming a better listener. When people feel heard, relationships grow stronger, conflicts become easier to navigate, and conversations become more meaningful. Because better conversations don't require everyone to be a great listener. **They only require one.** **In this episode you'll learn:** ➡️ Why hearing someone isn't the same as making them feel heard ➡️ How to stop jumping into "fix-it mode" and start listening with curiosity ➡️ Alex Simon's simple **Four-Second Rule** for becoming a better listener ➡️ Why people often ask for one thing but actually need something else ➡️ How better listening builds trust, strengthens relationships, and improves teamwork ➡️ How to navigate conversations when power dynamics are involved Whether you're leading a team, supporting a friend, or navigating a difficult conversation, listening is one of the most valuable skills you can develop. Because when people feel heard, relationships grow stronger, conflict becomes easier to navigate, and better conversations follow. **This... is A Bit of Optimism.** \+ + + ### Chapters - **00:00:00** Listening to Understand vs Listening to Be Right - **00:00:38** Why Most of Us Are Bad Listeners - **00:02:08** What People Ask For vs What They Actually Want - **00:02:53** The Four-Second Rule for Better Listening - **00:04:05** Defining What Listening Is NOT - **00:05:42** Listening Beyond Words: Tone, Volume, and Subtext - **00:06:33** The Problem With Knee-Jerk Problem Solving - **00:07:14** The Real Story: When We Failed to Listen and Lost an Employee - **00:10:56** Needs vs Strategies: Understanding What's Really Being Asked - **00:12:28** Being Present: The Social Benefit of Meditation - **00:15:48** Body Language: Squaring Up and Putting Phones Away - **00:18:26** Listening With Warm Eyes That Believe in Them - **00:21:50** When Defensiveness Gets in the Way - **00:26:46** The Four-Second Rule in Action - **00:29:28** Is There More? The Buddhist Question That Peels Back Layers - **00:31:11** Creating Self-Reliance Through Listening - **00:34:26** Listening and Power Dynamics at Work - **00:35:16** Creating Safety So People Don't Withhold Information - **00:36:08** Why People Repeat Themselves Over and Over - **00:37:45** Reflective Listening: When to Mirror Back What You Hear - **00:40:11** Be As You Wish to Seem: Authenticity in Listening - **00:41:42** Listening Up: Understanding What Your Boss Actually Needs - **00:42:49** The One Degree Off Problem - **00:45:18** Asking Questions Depersonalizes Criticism - **00:47:02** Listening Is a Muscle You Can Build \+ + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including *Start With Why*, *Leaders Eat Last*, *Together is Better*, and *The Infinite Game*. \+ + + Website: [http://simonsinek.com/](http://simonsinek.com/) Leaderful: [https://simonsinek.com/leaderful](https://simonsinek.com/leaderful) Podcast: [http://apple.co/simonsinek](http://apple.co/simonsinek) Instagram: [https://instagram.com/simonsinek/](https://instagram.com/simonsinek/) Linkedin: [https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/](https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/) Twitter: [https://twitter.com/simonsinek](https://twitter.com/simonsinek) Facebook: [https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek](https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek) \+ + + ## **About Alex Simon** Alex Simon is the founder of Lifeshop, a school for adult emotional education and teaches emotional intelligence at Yale University. She teaches the emotional and communication skills we all should've learned in school—but didn't. She facilitates experiential workshops on how to have hard conversations, stop people pleasing, listen better, navigate major life transitions, and build healthier relationships. Her sessions are practical, deeply connective, and somehow shockingly fun. When she was 27, Alex created **The Self & Other: In Theory and Practice**, one of Yale's most sought-after courses. In 2025, she founded Lifeshop in New York to bring emotional education beyond the classroom and into everyday life. She also launched The School of Life in New York and leads workshops for organizations around the world. Before dedicating her career to emotional education, Alex worked as a management consultant at Bain and held strategy and operations roles across industries. She has also lived and trained at Plum Village and Esalen and completed dozens of programs in mindfulness, communication, and personal development.

July 21, 2026 49 min

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Season 6 · Episode 21

The Hidden Cost of Always Saying Yes | A Bit of Optimism: Feelings at Work | PART 1

Welcome to **Feelings at Work**, a special series from *A Bit of Optimism* with Simon Sinek. Work isn't just about deadlines, meetings, and getting things done. It's also where we experience frustration, excitement, trust, anxiety, belonging, conflict, and joy. If we want to build healthier teams and better workplaces, we have to get better at understanding the emotions that shape how we work together. That's what this series is about. In each episode, Simon Sinek sits down with Yale professor and Lifeshop founder Alex Simon to explore one emotional challenge that affects how we work, lead, and relate to one another. Together, they unpack the emotional skills most of us were never taught—but use every single day. This episode is about saying yes. Have you ever agreed to something... and immediately regretted it? Maybe you didn't want to disappoint someone. Maybe you thought, *I'll figure it out somehow.* Maybe your calendar is packed, your to-do list never gets shorter, and somehow you're still worried you're letting people down. Most of us don't think of ourselves as "people pleasers." We just want to be helpful. We want to be dependable. We want to be someone others can count on. But what if constantly saying yes is actually making things harder—for you and everyone around you? Together, Simon and Alex explore why so many thoughtful, capable people take on more than they can realistically handle. They unpack the hidden patterns that lead to overwhelm, resentment, and burnout—and why trying to keep everyone happy can quietly make us less reliable. The good news? This is a skill we can learn. In this conversation, you'll discover practical ways to communicate more honestly, set healthier boundaries, and build stronger relationships—without feeling selfish or letting people down. In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ Why saying yes too often can actually make you less reliable ➡️ The hidden connection between overwhelm, burnout, and self-betrayal ➡️ The simple phrase that creates space before committing ➡️ A better alternative to saying yes or no: how to "share the dilemma" ➡️ What leaders can do to create teams where people feel safe telling the truth ➡️ Why healthy boundaries strengthen relationships instead of hurting them Whether you call it people pleasing or simply trying to keep up with everyone else's expectations, this conversation is a reminder that taking care of yourself isn't selfish. It's one of the best ways to show up for the people who matter. This... is *A Bit of Optimism*. \+ + + **Chapters** ### Chapters - **00:00:00** Why We Need to Talk About Feelings at Work - **00:02:00** What People Pleasing Actually Looks Like - **00:04:20** Why People Pleasing Hurts You and Your Team - **00:07:00** Why We Say Yes When We Mean No - **00:10:00** Different Types of People Pleasing - **00:13:00** Why Approval Can Become Addictive - **00:15:00** How People Pleasing Leads to Burnout - **00:18:00** The Hidden Cost of Being "Hyper Competent" - **00:21:00** Why People Pleasing Doesn't Actually Help People - **00:27:30** Simon's Experience With Saying Yes to Too Much - **00:31:00** How Leaders Can Help People Pleasers - **00:38:20** The Power of "Let Me Get Back to You" - **00:40:00** How to "Share the Dilemma" - **00:44:00** The Difference Between Being Reliable and Being Available - **00:47:00** Building Healthier Boundaries at Work \+ + + Website: [http://simonsinek.com/](http://simonsinek.com/) Leaderful: [https://simonsinek.com/leaderful](https://simonsinek.com/leaderful) Podcast: [http://apple.co/simonsinek](http://apple.co/simonsinek) Instagram: [https://instagram.com/simonsinek/](https://instagram.com/simonsinek/) Linkedin: [https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/](https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/) Twitter: [https://twitter.com/simonsinek](https://twitter.com/simonsinek) Facebook: [https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek](https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek) \+ + + ## **About Alex Simon** Alex Simon is a Yale professor and the founder of Lifeshop, a school for adult emotional education. She teaches the emotional and communication skills we all should've learned in school—but didn't. She facilitates experiential workshops on how to have hard conversations, stop people pleasing, listen better, navigate major life transitions, and build healthier relationships. Her sessions are practical, deeply connective, and somehow shockingly fun. When she was 27, Alex created **The Self & Other: In Theory and Practice**, one of Yale's most sought-after courses. In 2025, she founded Lifeshop in New York to bring emotional education beyond the classroom and into everyday life. She also launched The School of Life in New York and leads workshops for organizations around the world. Before dedicating her career to emotional education, Alex worked as a management consultant at Bain and held strategy and operations roles across industries. She has also lived and trained at Plum Village and Esalen and completed dozens of programs in mindfulness, communication, and personal development.

July 14, 2026 58 min

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Season 6 · Episode 20

Why We Fall for the Wrong Person with Couples Therapist Dr. Harville Hendrix

Maybe this sounds familiar: you fall hard for someone, and over a year later you're fighting about the very things that drew you to them in the first place. And you can't figure out how the person who felt so right suddenly feels so wrong. Dr. Harville Hendrix has spent 50 years studying love. And he’s also lived through its hardest challenges: one divorce, two near-misses in his current marriage, and a couple’s therapist who fired him and his wife, calling them "the couple from hell." That marriage is now 45 years strong. Harville is a couples therapist, and alongside his wife and creative partner Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, they creator Imago Relationship Therapy. They’ve also written 10 books, including the bestseller *Getting the Love You Want,* the book that made him a fixture on Oprah for nearly two decades. Harville’s theory is this: we don't consciously choose who we fall for, rather our unconscious does. And it has an agenda. In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ Why you keep falling for the same person ➡️ What your childhood has to do with who you swipe right on ➡️ Why the "power struggle" phase might mean you picked the right person ➡️ The shift that saved Harville's own marriage after divorce papers were filed ➡️ Why some of us can't receive love (even when we ask for it) ➡️ What arranged marriages understood about commitment that we forgot ➡️ The difference between equal relationships and egalitarian ones ➡️ How to reach the stage where you have no needs left… only wants In this conversation, Harville makes the case that real romantic love is what gets built after the fantasy collapses, when two people commit to the work of meeting each other's needs instead of demanding their own. And the engine of that transformation goes beyond compatibility and chemistry—it's gratitude and service. This… is *A Bit of Optimism*. \+ + + Want to keep up with Harville’s work? Check out: [https://harvilleandhelen.com/](https://harvilleandhelen.com/) If you’d like to buy Harville & Helen’s latest book, *How to Talk with Anyone about Anything*, head to: [https://harvilleandhelen.com/books/how-to-talk-with-anyone-about-anything/](https://harvilleandhelen.com/books/how-to-talk-with-anyone-about-anything/) \+ + + Chapters ### Chapters - **00:00:00** Nature's Agenda: Why We Fall for the Wrong Person - **00:02:02** From Sharecropper's Farm to Oprah: Harville's Unexpected Journey - **00:06:07** The 30-Second Encounters That Changed Everything - **00:10:17** We Almost Divorced Twice: The Couple From Hell - **00:13:21** Child Consciousness vs Adult Consciousness: The Critical Shift - **00:15:57** The Gratitude That Ends the Yearning - **00:18:45** Why Both People Don't Need to Change at Once - **00:20:28** The Unconscious Imago: Your Brain Picks Who You Fall For - **00:26:34** The 18-Month Fantasy: When the Real Person Shows Up - **00:30:40** Arranged Marriages vs Choice: The Paradox of Commitment - **00:34:47** The No Exit Decision: Why You'll Want to Quit When It's Working - **00:36:34** The Transparency Trap: Afraid of Losing What You Found - **00:38:35** Receiving Love: The Dinner Story That Changes Everything - **00:45:49** Equal vs Egalitarian: The Recipe for Partnership - **00:47:23** Dating IRL: Why Technology Can't Replace Face-to-Face - **00:50:54** When Needs Become Wants: Life After Gratitude \+ + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including *Start With Why*, *Leaders Eat Last*, *Together is Better*, and *The Infinite Game*. \+ + + Website: [http://simonsinek.com/](http://simonsinek.com/) Leaderful: [https://simonsinek.com/leaderful](https://simonsinek.com/leaderful) Podcast: [http://apple.co/simonsinek](http://apple.co/simonsinek) Instagram: [https://instagram.com/simonsinek/](https://instagram.com/simonsinek/) Linkedin: [https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/](https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/) Twitter: [https://twitter.com/simonsinek](https://twitter.com/simonsinek) Facebook: [https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek](https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek)

July 7, 2026 54 min

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Season 6 · Episode 19

How to Tell If Fear Is Protecting You or Holding You Back with Extreme Athlete Nelly Attar

We tell ourselves the reason we never chase the big dream is that we're not ready, not brave enough, doomed to fail. Nelly Attar would tell you she felt all of that too… but she chased them anyway. Nelly is a psychologist turned extreme athlete and mountaineer. She built Saudi Arabia's first dance studio, MOVE, at a time when women couldn't train publicly by sneaking classes into a warehouse and office building after hours. She's the first Lebanese person to climb the five highest peaks in the world, like Everest. And she also became the first Arab to summit K2, the world’s second highest peak that’s so dangerous that one in four people who attempt it survive. But what makes Nelly remarkable aren’t the summits and heights she reaches. It's that she's found a way to turn individual acts of accomplishment into acts of service: for the women she shows what's possible and for the team that climbs beside her. In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ The difference between fear that protects you and fear that holds you back ➡️ How preparing and working hard can lighten the load for others ➡️ What small, daily kindness practices become the best investment you can make ➡️ Why there's no such thing as "self-made" and what actually de-risks courage ➡️ The art of “strategic retreat” + why quitting and retreating aren't the same thing ➡️ Why your title and achievements aren’t your identity (and what is) ➡️ How movement is medicine, and why the mind leads the body ➡️ What it really means to live a life of service to the people right in front of you In this conversation, Nelly shows that the size of what you accomplish matters far less than the spirit you bring to it. She faces her fear for herself, but she does the hard work for everyone else. This… is *A Bit of Optimism*. \+ + + Want to keep up with Nelly’s adventures? Check out: [https://www.nellyattar.com/](https://www.nellyattar.com/) \+ + + Chapters ### Chapters - **00:00:00** If You Don't Try, You'll Never Know: Nellie's Philosophy on Fear - **00:02:20** Building Saudi Arabia's First Dance Studio - **00:07:45** The Real Risk Worth Taking: Purpose Over Fear - **00:12:07** The Support System Behind Every Bold Move - **00:14:11** From Dance Floor to Everest: Training in the Desert for Sub-Zero Summits - **00:20:13** Climbing for Others: The Service Mindset on the Mountain - **00:21:19** Preparing So You Don't Burden Your Team - **00:26:11** The Practice of Kindness: Small Acts That Change Everything - **00:33:02** Leading Hikes to Help Others Climb Their Mountains - **00:36:17** K2: Climbing Through Grief After Losing Her Father - **00:39:24** One in Four Don't Come Back: The Reality of K2 - **00:41:00** Strategic Retreat: Knowing When to Turn Around - **00:43:59** The Infinite Mindset: You Are Not Your Accomplishments - **00:45:44** Creating Safe Spaces for Others to Discover Their Boundaries - **00:48:39** Fear That Protects vs Fear That Holds You Back \+ + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including *Start With Why*, *Leaders Eat Last*, *Together is Better*, and *The Infinite Game*. \+ + + Website: [http://simonsinek.com/](http://simonsinek.com/) Leaderful: [https://simonsinek.com/leaderful](https://simonsinek.com/leaderful) Podcast: [http://apple.co/simonsinek](http://apple.co/simonsinek) Instagram: [https://instagram.com/simonsinek/](https://instagram.com/simonsinek/) Linkedin: [https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/](https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/) Twitter: [https://twitter.com/simonsinek](https://twitter.com/simonsinek) Facebook: [https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek](https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek)

June 30, 2026 51 min

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