Author: Emily Priddy

We’d all prefer a friendlier internet—one that builds connections, fosters understanding, and makes us feel a little better about the world.

But (no shocker here) today’s hyper-connected world doesn’t always feel so rosy. In fact, it can sometimes feel downright toxic. Here’s the good news, though: According to some insights from organizational psychologist Adam Grant, most of the negativity we encounter on social media comes from a shockingly small percentage of users.

Read on to discover some reasons to stay optimistic about today’s social media landscape—along with a few ways we can all make a positive difference.

The Minority That Makes the Majority of Noise 

Here are two eye-opening statistics from study just published in the academic journal Current Opinion in Psychology:

•  Just 3% of active users on social media are considered toxic, yet they generate 33% of online content. 

• Only 1% of online communities are responsible for launching 74% of online conflicts, and a mere 0.1% of users spread 80% of the fake news. 

Startling, right? The negativity we encounter is often the work of a small but highly active group of users.

For the majority of people who log in to connect, learn, and be entertained, this vocal minority can create a disproportionate sense of discord. Because they generate so much content and incite so much interaction, it can feel as though their views and behaviors are the norm rather than the exception.

Why Are Negative Voices So Prominent? 

There are several reasons why the most toxic voices on social media tend to dominate the conversation:

1. Algorithm Bias

Social media platforms are designed to maximize engagement, and studies have shown that people are more likely to engage with posts that evoke strong emotions—particularly anger. As a result, algorithms often prioritize controversial or inflammatory content, making toxic voices more visible. This strategy has most recently started to be coined as “Rage-Bait”.

2. Human Bias Toward Negativity

Our brains are wired to pay more attention to negative information, a trait that likely evolved to help our ancestors survive. However, this negativity bias can backfire on social media, where we’re constantly bombarded with information. Negative posts stand out and are more likely to stick in our minds, leading us to feel that they represent the majority opinion.

3. Echo Chambers:

Toxic users tend to find each other and congregate in like-minded groups, creating echo chambers that amplify their views. Within these spaces, extreme opinions become more normalized and members are emboldened to spread their beliefs, often fueling conflict and misinformation on a larger scale.

How This Skews Our View of Humanity

When a small but loud group dominates the conversation, it can have a profound impact on how we view the world and each other. Constant exposure to negative content can lead us to believe that humanity is more divided, hostile, and selfish than it really is. This perception can affect our mental health, making us feel anxious, cynical, or even hopeless.

Research shows that social media can impact our self-esteem and our relationships, especially if we internalize the negativity we see online. When we start to believe that toxicity is the norm, it’s easy to feel disillusioned and disconnected, even though the majority of users are positive, supportive, and constructive.

What Can We Do About It? 

While we may not have control over social media algorithms, we can take steps to ensure that our own experience is healthier and more balanced. Here are some practical strategies:

1. Curate Your Feed:

Be intentional about who you follow. Seek out accounts that focus on content that inspires you, educates you, and makes you feel good. Following creators who align with your values can help you create a more positive outlook on life as well as your feed.

2. Engage Wisely:

Remember how we mentioned the term “Rage-Bait”? Well it’s just that– bait. And we suggest you don’t take it. Avoid engaging with toxic content or users. Even negative interactions, such as arguing in comments, can inadvertently boost their reach. Choose to support and engage with positive content instead.

3. Report and Mute:

Most platforms offer tools to report or mute users who spread negativity or misinformation. Use these tools to filter out toxic content and create a safer digital environment for yourself.

4. Be Mindful of Your Own Impact:

Each of us has the power to contribute to a more positive social media space. By sharing authentic, thoughtful, and supportive content, we can help counterbalance the negativity and show that there is more to humanity than what the vocal minority might portray.

Want to hear a scary statistic? According to a recent survey from Workhuman, a shocking 30% of employees feel invisible at work. That’s an entire third of the workforce that feels like they do not matter. 

Zach Mercurio, celebrated speaker and author with a Ph.D. in organizational leadership, has dedicated his career to understanding the power of purpose and belonging in the workplace. He’s a firm believer that the simplest actions can have the greatest impact on how people feel about their work and themselves. In his course, How to Be a Leader People Actually Trust (And Maybe Even Love), he shares a simple phrase every leader should use to remind their employees of their value…

“If it weren’t for you.”

These five words—“If it weren’t for you”—hold the key to recognizing the essential contributions of others. In his course, Zach tells the story of a leader at a large bank. 

She started a weekly practice of reaching out to someone who had helped her get through the week. Each Friday, she sends a message saying, “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have made it through the week,” and follows up with why that person made a difference.

Over time, this small gesture has transformed her professional relationships, creating a network of deep trust and mutual appreciation.

“Think about the times in your life when someone said to you, ‘If it wasn’t for you, I would have never gotten this job,’ or ‘If it wasn’t for you, I would have never been able to get through this,’” Zach says. These moments don’t just express gratitude—they highlight the unique value that someone brings into our lives. It’s about showing people that they are not just another cog in the machine; they are essential.

Great leaders understand that everyone has a role to play, and they make it a point to ensure that those around them feel needed. Zach encourages saying, “If it weren’t for you, this wouldn’t be possible,” or “If it weren’t for you, today wouldn’t have been as good.” This simple phrase can make the difference between someone feeling invisible and someone feeling seen, valued, and motivated.

The impact of these words goes beyond professional settings. “Say it to your friends, your neighbors, your kids, spouse, partner, and the thousands of people you depend on daily in your community to live your life,” Zach says. Recognizing people’s contributions, no matter how small they may seem, is a universal way to build stronger connections.

In a world where 55% of people feel as though their company only sees them as employees and not people, the phrase “If it weren’t for you” can be a reminder that we all matter. It’s a tool that any leader—or any person—can use to create a culture of gratitude and connection. 

For more on Zach’s course, see here. 

Stepping into a new leadership role? Congrats! 

It can be both an exhilarating and overwhelming experience. It’s the moment when you’re expected to inspire, guide, and make decisions that impact those around you. While that responsibility is exciting, it’s also daunting, especially when you’re navigating uncharted waters and hearing statistics like the one out of the Center for Creative Leadership that states that around 40% of new leaders fail within their first 18 months. So we figured we could offer some pointers to help you thrive. 

We asked Kristen Hadeed, Optimist Instructor and founder and CEO of Student Maid, to share some invaluable pieces of advice she wishes she had known as a new leader. As someone who learned firsthand that those early leadership years are full of crucial lessons, she was thrilled to dip into her wealth of experience and give her top three tips for any incoming leader.

1. Listening Is More Than Just Hearing

Kristen candidly admits that in her early days of leadership, she wasn’t a great listener. She was often distracted, multitasking, and more focused on responding than understanding. “I was the leader that when you walked in, my fingers are doing this,” she says, mimicking typing, “and I’m like, yeah, come on in, I’m listening. Well, if your fingers are doing this, you are not really listening.”

Leadership is about truly listening—not just to words, but to what’s left unsaid, too. One powerful phrase that transformed her approach is, “Tell me more.” It opens doors for deeper connections and understanding. Whether it’s in feedback, discussions, or casual conversations, she urges leaders to be curious and fully present. It’s through this kind of intentional listening that you can build trust and foster a culture where people feel valued.

2. Disagree and Still Support

As a leader, you might believe that achieving consensus was key to success. Sure, you should strive to ensure everyone agrees before moving forward, but the fact is that seeking total agreement wasn’t leadership—it was stagnation. “If everyone is always agreeing with you, someone does not feel safe being honest,” she notes.

A healthy leadership culture allows room for disagreement. Kristen encourages leaders to make their beliefs clear, take risks, and embrace different perspectives. Even when team members disagree, they should still feel supported. 

“I get it. I respect it. I understand why you feel that way. I need to ask for your support,” she says. Adopting language like this into your leadership style is a way to acknowledge differing views while maintaining unity. Remember, leadership isn’t about unanimous agreement; it’s about fostering growth through respectful disagreements.

3. Embrace the Growth Mindset

One of the biggest hurdles for new leaders is the fear of failure. 

Kristen admits, “ I heard a lot about the “growth mindset” early on, but struggled to grasp its true meaning. Over time, I realized that a growth mindset is about leveraging your past experiences—call it your “resilience resume”—to face new challenges with confidence.”

So when you are facing your next difficult obstacle, think about everything that’s on your resilience resume and remember that this moment, this obstacle, too, will be on there one day. Leadership is hard, but that’s where the growth happens. Failure is not only inevitable, it’s a learning tool.

Leadership is a journey, not a destination. Kristen’s advice to new leaders is simple yet profound: if it’s not hard, you’re probably not doing it right. Embrace the challenges, learn from every experience, and remember—you’ve got this. Leadership is supposed to be hard, but it’s also one of the most rewarding journeys you’ll ever take.

For more, check out The Optimism Library.

 

Knock, knock. Who’s there? 

Drew Tarvin, the world’s first “Humor Engineer” and the instructor of Find Your Funny, an Optimism Library class designed to help professionals unlock the benefits of humor in the workplace. Tarvin, who has worked with organizations like Procter & Gamble, Microsoft, and even the FBI, believes that humor is just as important to a leader’s toolkit as strategy, vision, and problem solving. 

“Humor is more than just a way to break the ice,” he says. “It can help leaders connect with their teams, reduce stress, and boost morale. It’s an underutilized superpower, and we have some advice from an expert on how to unlock it.”

In his class, Tarvin shares his experiences working with a group of FBI agents. “They wanted to learn if humor could make them more effective in their jobs,” he explains. “Humor helps build rapport, reduce status differentials, and ultimately makes work a bit more human.” 

If the FBI can find applications for humor, it’s safe to say you can too.

Wait—Joking Around at Work Works?

Believe it or not, research backs up the benefits of humor in leadership. A study found that 91% of executives believe humor is crucial for career advancement, and employees who work under leaders who use humor are more engaged and productive. Humor creates a more positive atmosphere, fosters creativity, and can even prevent burnout. 

As Tarvin points out, “Humor reduces stress and helps people find joy at work.”

But it doesn’t stop there. Humor can make you more approachable. “People who use humor seem more relaxed and easy to connect with,” says Tarvin. It’s not about being the funniest person in the room; it’s about being relatable and creating a work environment where people feel comfortable sharing ideas. Teams that laugh together are more likely to collaborate effectively, and it’s even been found that humor at work can reduce stress and boost job satisfaction by 33%.

3 Actionable Tips for Using Humor in Leadership

Drew doesn’t just talk about the importance of humor—he offers practical advice on how leaders can use it effectively. Here are three tips from Find Your Funny to help you get started:

1. Aim for Smiles, Not Laughs
You don’t need to be a stand-up comedian to introduce humor at work. Start by adding humor in low-stakes situations—like lightening up the start of a meeting with a witty remark or sharing a funny observation. As Tarvin puts it, “You don’t need to aim for laughs every time. Aim for smiles.” 

Whether it be starting off your meeting with a cheesy dad joke or even just referencing your favorite pop culture meme, find some way to bring your own favorite brand of levity to your workday. Odds are, someone else will acknowledge it and maybe even appreciate it. Just make sure it’s not taking over everything you say–If you’re aiming for big laughs, it’s safe to say that you’re trying too hard. 

2. Use Self-Deprecating Humor
Leaders can build trust and relatability by poking fun at themselves. Bad at tech? Admit it. Did something slightly embarrassing happen to you over the weekend? Tell it to your team as a story to break the ice. Humility and good humor go hand in hand.

“Self-deprecating humor shows vulnerability and humility,” says Tarvin. It reminds your team that you’re human too. Just make sure it’s light-hearted and not too critical of yourself—it’s about balance.

3. Know Your Audience
Humor is subjective, so what’s funny to one person might not land with another. “Read the room,” advises Tarvin. Before using humor, consider the culture, context, and people around you. Be mindful to keep it inclusive and avoid any humor that could be misinterpreted or offensive.

And if you’re not sure what the team will find funny? Start a slack channel or group chat at work for sending memes and funny videos. You’ll not only get a better gauge of what your team enjoys in regards to comedy, you’ll also create a space for further bonding and community culture building. 

So next time you’re facing a tense meeting or a challenging project, ask yourself: how can humor be part of the solution? It could be the secret to unlocking not just a better work culture, but a more enjoyable path to success.

For more, check out The Optimism Library.

 

We’ve all left a meeting feeling frustrated because the feedback you just received wasn’t helpful. It wasn’t clear, came too late, or lacked any actionable advice. Unfortunately, a recent study has even shown that 65% of surveyed employees actually want more frequent and consistent feedback but don’t feel as though they receive it. 

Many leaders of teams, especially those who are new in their leadership roles, find themselves in situations where they’re tasked with giving feedback but don’t know the best approach. This can lead to awkward, ineffective conversations that leave everyone feeling misunderstood.

Well, fear not, new leaders because we asked an expert and Optimist for her help. Enter Kristen Hadeed, founder of Student Maid, Optimist Instructor, author, and expert in all things feedback. Kristen has worked with leaders worldwide to transform how we give and receive feedback. 

Here are her three easy tips to improve your feedback and make it more effective.

1. T-Minus 24 Hours

Timing is everything when it comes to feedback. According to Kristen, the best feedback is delivered promptly, ideally within 24 hours of the observed behavior. “I try to live by something called the 24-hour guideline,” she says. “Within 24 hours of thinking or observing something, I commit to giving that person feedback.”

By addressing feedback quickly, you build trust with your team because they know where they stand with you. As Kristen notes, “You might not always agree with someone’s feedback, but I bet you trust them when you know they will address things in a timely manner.”

2. Call in The FBI

Many of us are conditioned to keep feedback strictly professional, but we get feedback wrong when we believe that keeping it professional means not making it personal and vulnerable. “Use FBI statements,” Kristen says, “list the Feeling, then the Behavior that made you feel that way, and finally the Impact it had.”

This personal approach encourages empathy and makes the feedback more impactful. Rather than just critiquing behavior, you’re showing how it influences you, which fosters a deeper connection and a greater willingness to change. It is through the expression of emotions that we are the most likely to see change. 

3. Say “Thank You”—Even When It’s Tough

Receiving feedback, especially when you don’t agree with it, can be difficult. But responding with defensiveness can shut down future opportunities for constructive dialogue. Kristen suggests a simple yet powerful strategy: “Say thank you – not for the feedback itself, but for the courage it took for the person to come to you.”

By thanking someone for bringing their feedback to you, you’re reinforcing a culture of openness. You’re also showing that you value honest communication, even when it’s uncomfortable.

When you implement these three strategies, you can transform your feedback from something people dread into a valuable tool for growth. Remember, great feedback is timely, personal, and received with gratitude.

For more, check out The Optimism Library.

We’ve all been there—we’re in a meeting and the person leading the call asks a question. The conversation pauses, and suddenly, time seems to drag on at half the speed. The silence is deafening… and awkward. It’s a common scene in work environments, but it’s how leaders decide to react that defines how they will shape team morale and the psychological safety of its members.

When a meeting falls into silence—or feels stuck and unproductive—it’s a natural reaction for leaders to feel frustrated and want to call on participants randomly to engage. Elisabeth Cardiello, a seasoned communications expert and Optimist Instructor, would advise leaders to avoid this. 

Now, let’s first clarify what “calling on” means. We know every leader managing a meeting has to speak to people, ask questions, ask for updates, and generally expect a base level of participation. Those sorts of interactions would not constitute as being “called on,” given that those interactions are expected and often prepped for. Being “called on” is when a leader asks a question in a meeting, is then met with silence, and then decides to put someone on the spot and volunteer them to answer, even though they were not wanting to do so.

“Calling on people? People’s hands aren’t raised in an office,” says Elisabeth. “If you start calling on people, you’re bringing them right back to grade school, when someone was like, ‘What’s the answer to the math problem?‘ When you’re called on randomly, the natural reaction is, ‘Oh, my God, I have no clue and this is terrible.’” 

This approach can make team members feel put on the spot, increasing anxiety, and diminishing their sense of safety and comfort within the group. In the quest for engaging your team you are actively diminishing trust.

Here’s What Leaders Should Do Instead

So, how do you beat awkward silences in meetings? Well, here’s the thing… you don’t.

Instead of reverting to classroom tactics, Elisabeth recommends embracing these silences as productive and thoughtful pauses. Silence doesn’t necessarily indicate disengagement; often, it means participants are processing information, formulating thoughts, or considering their responses. Make it known to your team that you’re OK with silence and are willing to give as much time as needed for them to reflect— hopefully then the tension will dissipate and good ideas will start to come forward.

For virtual meetings, she suggests the “popcorn style” method to avoid these awkward moments. The “popcorn” method encourages voluntary participation.

“Whoever wants to share first, they unmute, they share. When they’re done, they re-mute,” she says. “The next person that wants to go unmutes and they share when they’re done, they re-mute, and so on.” If your meetings are in-person, you can still adhere to this style, simply speaking up when you want to contribute and then leaving the floor open for others to share their thoughts, as well. 

This style respects the natural flow of conversation and doesn’t pressure anyone to speak before they are ready. It fosters a more relaxed environment where people can contribute thoughtfully and at their own pace. “Silence just means that we’re being thoughtful, right? Silence is a good thing. It means we’re actually thinking there’s something happening,” says Elisabeth. 

So next time you’re leading a meeting and encounter a stretch of silence, remember it’s an opportunity for reflection, not a gap that needs filling. Encourage a culture where everyone feels they can contribute when they’re ready, not because they’re compelled to. A simple acknowledgment, such as saying “Thank you for sharing,” can go a long way in building trust and encouraging open, stress-free communication within your team.

For more, check out The Optimism Library.

Imagine this: you’ve just landed a meeting with a potential client, and now comes the big moment—discussing your rates. You want to ask for what you’re worth, but a nagging voice inside makes you hesitate. What if they think you’re too expensive? What if they go with someone cheaper? This scenario is all too familiar for freelancers, but according to Alison Grade, author of The Freelance Bible and a seasoned expert in the freelancing world, it doesn’t have to be.

Alison has spent her career helping freelancers turn their skills into successful businesses, emphasizes the importance of viewing yourself and your freelancing work as a high-value offering. In her class “Be a Great Freelancer“, Alison explains, “freelancing isn’t just about trading time for money; it’s about the impact your work has on your client’s business”. Understanding this concept is the key to not only commanding higher fees but also attracting better clients and creating more sustainable business relationships.

So, why is it beneficial to see yourself as high value? Alison points out that clients hire freelancers for two main reasons: they either need specialist skills they can’t afford to keep in-house or they need extra capacity to handle an influx of work. In either case, you’re offering something they can’t easily replicate, and that’s worth a premium.

Here are a few actionable steps to help you, noble freelancer, articulate your unique value:

1. Conduct a Skills Audit

 Take stock of your hard skills (technical abilities), soft skills (like communication and leadership), and even those “other” skills you might not think to include, such as hobbies or languages. Alison explains, “The more you understand about what you bring to the table, the better you can articulate it to potential clients.”

 

2. Understand the Client’s Needs

According to Alison, you should always ask yourself these two questions whenever a new project is a possibility: “Why is this client hiring me? Is it for specialist skills or added capacity?” Understanding the reason behind a client’s need for your services can help you tailor your pitch. If you’re clear on whether you’re filling a skill gap or providing much-needed support, you can position yourself as the perfect solution to their problem.

 

3. Articulate the Impact, Not Just the Task 

Instead of focusing solely on the tasks you’ll perform, highlight the impact your work will have on the client’s business. “It’s not about what you do, but what your work enables,” says Alison. For instance, instead of saying you’ll manage their social media accounts, explain how your work will increase their brand visibility and drive customer engagement.

 

4. Use Clear, Confident Language 

When discussing your rates or pitching your services, use clear and confident language. Don’t use phrases like “I think” or “maybe,” as these can undermine your perceived value. Instead, be direct about what you offer and how it benefits the client.

 

5. Seek Feedback and Adjust

After completing a project, don’t hesitate to ask for feedback. Grade suggests, “Understanding how clients perceive your value can help you refine your pitch and improve future client interactions.” Positive feedback can reinforce your confidence, while constructive criticism can provide insights into areas where you can further articulate your value.

 

By following these steps, freelancers can shift their mindset from merely completing tasks to delivering high-impact results. This approach not only helps justify higher rates but also builds stronger, more trusting relationships with clients. After all, the most important tool a freelancer can have is confidence if the hard work they have accumulated over their career. 

You are a luxury, desirable item—price yourself accordingly.

For more, check out The Optimism Library.

Nothing can feel quite as soul crushing at work as when we take initiative to try something new and we’re shot down with words: “That’s not how we do things here.”

It’s simply a fact that, in any business, there’s a persistent tension between a centralized, top-down approach and the desire for team autonomy. This balancing act is crucial: how can we maintain alignment with the company’s goals while empowering employees to adapt, innovate, and take initiative on the front lines?

Striking this balance is essential for success. We need employees to buy into the larger corporate direction, but not at the cost of stifling individual creativity.

Will Guidara, bestselling author, renowned restaurateur, and former owner of the world’s #1 restaurant, Eleven Madison Park, describes this dilemma as the battle between “restaurant smarts” and “corporate smarts.” While his lessons are rooted in the restaurant industry, they are universally applicable to any business environment.

What Does “Restaurant Smart” Mean?

“Restaurant smart” companies lead with trust, granting frontline workers autonomy and creative freedom. These companies cultivate nimble environments where employees can serve customers with ingenuity.

“Think about Zappos, the online shoe retailer,” says Will. “In their call center, the customer service agents are given the freedom to go above and beyond for their customers. On one occasion, when one of the phone representatives learned of a customer’s sick mother, they took it upon themselves to send flowers to the mother’s hospital room. Most companies would think that was a waste of time and money. Zappos looked at it as an investment.”

However, while this approach fosters innovation and customer-centric service, it can also pose challenges. Companies that rely too heavily on flexibility and creativity may struggle with profitability due to a lack of standardized processes and controls. 

As Will says, “It’s very hard to scale a company if you’re only restaurant smart.” The very flexibility that drives innovation can also hinder consistency and efficiency—both critical for growth.

What About “Corporate Smarts?”

On the other hand, “corporate smart” companies prioritize systems, controls, and profitability, ensuring that every operation is streamlined and consistent. This approach, often driven by centralized decision-making, guarantees a uniform product and experience, regardless of location.

“McDonald’s is a corporate-smart company,” says Will. “Every time you walk into a McDonald’s, the product is exactly the same. You can expect consistency and efficiency, but it’s very rare that you leave a McDonald’s feeling anything but full.” 

The strength of corporate smarts lies in scalability and profitability, but it often comes at the expense of creativity and customer satisfaction. Frontline workers may feel disempowered, with little autonomy to make decisions that could elevate the customer experience.

Striking the Right Balance

The key to success lies in merging the best aspects of both approaches. By fostering creativity within a framework of efficiency and control, businesses can enhance customer satisfaction while achieving sustainable growth and profitability. This balance also fosters a sense of passion and purpose among employees.

“The challenge is to figure out how your company can be both restaurant smart and corporate smart, how to embrace the tension between control and creativity, and find the balance between the two,” says Will.

One example is Pret a Manger, which empowers its frontline staff while maintaining corporate controls. Pret cashiers have the autonomy to give away free drinks or food to customers they feel deserve it, acknowledging that those on the front lines have the insight needed to make such decisions.

To achieve this balance in your business, consider the following steps:

• Empower Your Frontline Workers: Give employees the autonomy to make decisions that enhance the customer experience. Start small and build from there.

• Establish Clear Systems: While empowering your team, ensure that systems are in place to maintain efficiency and control. This could involve setting guidelines for decision-making or implementing feedback loops to monitor the impact of creative initiatives.

• Foster a Culture of Trust: Encourage open communication and trust within your organization. Make sure that creative ideas are welcomed and that employees feel supported in their roles.

As Will reminds us, “Even the smallest change can have a very significant result.” Start small, but start today—your business’s future depends on it.

For more, check out Will and Simon’s course, The Art of Creating Fiercely Loyal Customers.